There are so many hurdles any woman focused on her ambition at this end must cross, there are so many fights she has to battle. As if that is not enough, traditionalists have so battered the 'Career woman' image as that of a carefree woman whose path in life is only one directional, fulfilling her career ambitions and nothing else.......
This is us, the hypocrisy of our lives as a people, whilst we openly advocate for the education of the girl child, we use the other corner of our lips to tell that woman too that her success is incomplete without a man in the picture, infact any man will do so long as there's a male in the picture 'supporting' her. I am not against marriage, I'm in full support of healthy marriages and the pivotal roles they play in the society, infact I secretly desire that every good woman out there gets married to a very responsible man.
Rather I'm outspoken against the set standards of traditional limitations that makes a single young lady 'unfit' for potential suitors if she becomes very successful early in life. Every set of the society is suddenly against this woman now in her prime, they have Forgotten so soon that years back they'd referred to her as one of "the leaders of tomorrow".
Now that the 'leader' is grown and has followed the conditioning of their schooling and is successfully leading in her strides, they want to forcefully put on her another dehumanizing label or school of thought "All that you have achieved is worthless if a man is not in the picture".
They (Society) wants you to achieve but not achieve much, so that your 'wife material' will be perfectly suitable for most of today's crop of 'broken masculine' males. Every facet of the society, none excluded is guilty of destroying the ambitious potentials of the girl child and woman.
They want you to fight for your rights but not aggressively about it, they demand that you be subtle and that subtility makes you a wife material that will understand marital submission, which in actual fact is 'Subjugation'. They say openly at churches, at seminars, conferences, that they need power women but we know from their actions and conduct that they want otherwise.
Power women that they cannot handle, perhaps they want an Oby Ezekwesili, but not much of them like one out of thirty million Nigerian, even African women. They only want women, successful ones that have been conditioned by the tenets of 'traditional ceilings'.
She must be seen and not heard, except when she's singing her husband praises, probably after he had siphoned government funds or cheated on her in marriage and sure she is doing that out of cultural compulsion or for the fear of going back to abject poverty, because she has spent all her youthful years supporting her husband's dreams neglecting hers.
Even when she single handedly fought her way through to the top on merit, she is labelled as a 'Shameless prostitute' who rode on 'Bottom power' to secure her present achievements. At this end no woman is successful without a man in the picture, even if he is a complete nincompoop or irritant, just get him to put a ring on it so that you can be complete in their 'Paradise of lies'.
Pay no attention to them and be yourself, for if you marry a fool out of desperation bowing to their pressures, this same people will blame the divorce on you when it eventually happens, believe me.
Strive to achieve that which you have set your heart on and God who sees all, fair in judgements will secure for you a responsible man to complement your frame. Take care of yourself and never stop believing in you!
Writer: Babatunde Modupe
Pic Credit: Goggle images
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