Undeniably the life of a Spinster in this climes are difficult, from the time she hits puberty till age twenty four she is being told to avoid men like plaque and focus on her education so as to secure her future.....
It is being drummed into her ears that any man coming for her now simply wants to soil her future. In some very strict families the girls are being told that should they get pregnant out of wedlock they will be disowned completely.
All of a sudden the narrative changes once she hits the big twenty five, then funny questions begins to pour in left right center, she then begins to wonder what brought about the sudden change in the same set of people that wanted her single.
It is hilarious honestly how they expect her to bring home her fiance once she is twenty five, after following their advice and avoiding any man that expressed interest in her. Perhaps they were expecting her to use her magic wand to create the man of her dreams or visit an imaginary town were eligible bachelors are ever present to make her choice.
The pressure people mount on her is no joke from her home to the church, even her workplace becomes overwhelming, "Where is your fiance?, "When are we coming to eat rice? these are the questions she will constantly be bombarded with. Infact it gets to a point wedding ceremonies seem like funerals to her and she dares not mention that any of her friends are getting married so as to avoid harsh criticism.
Nobody cares to ask if she is ready for marriage or not, even when it is obvious she hasn't gotten her bearing, she may just have four pairs of skirts and few blouses or cannot afford to sustain herself without the help of her parents to them that's unnecessary as Marriage is the ultimate. Nobody cares to know if she has embarked on the journey of self discovery to discover her purpose in life.
Ready or not she must bring home a man, if she fails to provide one she is subjected to various fasting and deliverance sessions to chase away her spirit husband. If you are in that position today and you are depressed, cheer up and listen to that inner voice encouraging you on the path of self discovery.
The truth is that the world never stops mounting pressure on a woman, infact it only gets worse. All you need do is to develop a thick skin and shut out those voices replaying in your head. The only person that can make you happy is you and your journey of self discovery is of utmost importance, that is your purpose in life.
Once you get it wrong early in life it becomes difficult to make any meaning for your future. Don't let desperation push you into the wrong hands, the torment of a bad marriage is greater than any pressure you are facing now. Be Strong and be mature, find your purpose and you'll be happy. In no mean time the right person will locate you, but first discover yourself!.
Writer: Babatunde Modupe
Pic Credit: Goggle images.
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